I am sitting here hitting the keys to form some words then backspacing them. Switching tabs over to check Facebook notifications about who 'likes' a comment I made or a photo I posted. I think I need to check my Instagram quickly to see if anyone put a heart on my Oatmeal. What did that politician just Tweet about, Im probably going to spend the next 15 minutes reading the comments on that irrelevant tweet. Oh by the way I just binge watched Mind Hunters on Netflix.
Reading all of the above it would be hard for anyone to believe when I say 'I am not obsessively active on social media'. Thats a lie. I am. Maybe not on the surface. When I started this blogging hobby slash online journal I decided to keep it away from my personal Facebook. Who wants to share their diary with the world? This question is as outdated as a walkman. Everyone seems to be doing it. I gave in too and shared my blog posts occasionally on my FB. A few likes, some unimaginative-social courtesy-comments, some honest encouragement from a select few and a reality check for me that it is easier to share things anonymously when the fear of judgement and approval is all together removed from the situation. No matter what we tell ourselves; I find it true for myself that I wouldn't mind a stranger judging me but the same coming from a 'friend' on social media affects me.
Need to double check if I am an introvert of some sort. I recently realised I enjoy going through my Instagram and Twitter more than Facebook. I have anonymous accounts both on IG and Twitter. That makes my predicament easier to understand. I use IG to keep up with the trends, bloggers, insta stories of people I like. I don't feel the constant pressure of acknowledging every single post on there because I don't owe anyone any social courtesy to do so. The only things I post there are my weight loss related photos, some interiors & home related photos and thats it. I follow random people and famous people. I get to learn so much everyday. New books, nutrition, recipes, life hacks, contouring, thrifting, primark hauls..you name it!
What I want to put out here is that all the reasons I had for starting up a blog however humble and small have now changed their form. I used to read endless blog posts. Not anymore because I get it all on instagram instead.
I look back at some of my earliest posts and I shake my head in disbelief. How could I post that unfiltered, uncropped, hideous photo of a silly project I made back then. This thought process is exactly what stopped me from writing blog posts. I feel like the free issue of weekly newspaper that ends up at your door without you asking for it, while the rest of the BLOGGERS are Glossy magazines with unbelievably fine photography and editing skills.
I need to come at terms with myself and work and be merry with whatever I can offer. I have thought it through and come to a conclusion that in this fast paced, social media friendly lifestyle that I crave and aim for I am going to loose my own real self. Now I am not saying that I am going to be real and raw and post about my issues without abandon. What I will do is to try and share the things that make me happy, some rants, some photos taken only with an iPhone.
Not everyone is good with power tools. All DIYs are not affordable. You can't keep up with all the trends. Some of us don't know a thing about editing and planing posts. Its good to learn something you don't know. Its feels good to take a nice photo staged or real.
The most frequently visited post on my blog is about how to recycle a Diaper Box
So there are people out there who still look for basic stuff. I got caught up in doubting and undermining myself. I stopped blogging because of that. I need to change that. We evolve as time goes by. I moved to Europe only 8 years ago. I started off in a studio apartment with one sofa bed that my husband already had. We moved twice within the city and a couple of months back we moved from Germany to Austria. As life changed so did my canvas. We should embrace each stage as it comes. There surely are others out there who can relate to you and your work.